red and white kitchen curtains
oh, hi! welcome to kiki's kitchen, wherei'm gonna teach you everything i don't know about baking. i call this recipe:"does the curtain match the cakes?" what would be more fitting for a firstepisode recipe than something that pays homage to myself? so let's get started!i cut the recipe in half. it calls for 24 cupcakes. no one needs that many cupcakes.i'm gonna line my cupcake tins, um, with some liners. this one's the gay one. we'll call him the gay one. he's, uh, he's a little different from everyone else.so, we're gonna take all 12 of our cupcakes that have been lined in the tin,and we're gonna set them to the side. just like that. now, the recipe calls tosift the flour with the sugar and all
the other dry ingredients. i don't knowif i have a sifter. i wouldn't know what it looks like. i'm gonna look for asifter. i think this is it. so we're gonna sift together the flour, sugar, bakingsoda, salt, and cocoa powder. alright, so i got my flour and my sugar- look, i putthem in little bowls. [taps on bowl] oh! um, also, before you start: wash your hands,pull your hair back, take off your jewelry, and, um, call your mother every day.
alright, that's enough sifting for now. you know, whatever was not sifted, throwit away. throw it away. no one wants that shit. and then, in another bowl. i can't get this shit off.help me get this god damn - so then, you're gonna be together all of yourwet ingredients. your oil, buttermilk, your food coloring, vinegar, and yourvanilla and your eggs did i say eggs?
oh yeah, i love the soundof an eggshell cracking. just, just...[cracks shells] just like that. so then you're gonna wash yourhands because you don't want salmonella. fun fact: 1 tablespoon equals 3teaspoons. did you know that? did y'know you're gonna learn while you watch adrag queen is her awful house lighting make a god damn cupcake? this is a lot. this is alot of food coloring. alright i'm just gonna do a teaspoon. you know, i love the smell ofvanilla. i just do. you need 1/2 a teaspoon of white vinegar. don't know why. you catch more flies with honey, you know?
now i'm gonna add in 3/4 of a cup of oil.ok, so then you're gonna beat together your wet ingredients.whisk that up! so, the recipe said to beat it with a hand-mixer. so don't do what i did. i'm gonnatake this shit off! get out your hand mixer! so,you're gonna plug this guy in. [zap!] and then you're gonna-
gently beat it. alright. so now you're gonna add yourdry ingredients to your wet ingredients. it needs more food coloring. and then continue mixing. well that looks like batter to me.remember that cupcake tin i told you to set and forget? remember it! put it rightdown on your countertop. find some space. just throw the bowls... anywhere, anywhere really. your kitchen is only clean for this video so don't fool yourself. and you're gonna just get your ice cream
scoop and give it a little jiggle, andthen you're gonna put it two-thirds of the way up in your cupcake tins. so, for some reason i didn't have enough for the gay one. [sparkles] so now, your 11 cupcakes aregonna go into the oven, and you're gonna set the timer for 20 to 22 minutes. whatis the two minutes difference do? i don't know. now, while that's cooking, you sit andwonder why miz cracker hasn't won a goddamn challenge on rupaul's drag raceyet.
ok, it's time for dinner! ugh! and now, while those cool, we'll start on our frosting. i have my large bowl formy frosting, eight ounces of cream cheese, and one stick of butter. 1/2 teaspoon ofvanilla, and then you're gonna take your beater, that has been cleaned! now you beat all ofthat together until it's nice and creamy. it would help if i plugged it in. oh, god! oh, god! oh, god!
too fast. add two cups of confectioner's sugar. it's getting everywhere! we're done. and nowyou mix it very carefully. i'm gonna put on an apron. that's good enough, we'regonna gently beat it. [michael jackson's "beat it" plays] okay!
do a little cleanup. you know, benice. so now i'm going to wait until my cupcakes are completely cool, and thenwe'll frost the bitches. and now they're cool, so what you're gonna do istake your- i'm not gonna use this. i tried to put frosting in this bag, and thencut the tip. no. take a knife and just go in. and there you have it! there's your cupcake!we made it.
does the curtain match the cakes? let's find out. not really. i didn't put enough red food coloring in. but that's okay 'cause you will do betterthan i did. thanks for joining me on the very first episode of kiki's kitchen. i hope you'll like, comment, and subscribe. try this recipe out. i found it online.it's super simple, uh, and now you can say
you got it from a drag queen, and what onearth is better than getting a cupcake recipe from a drag queen? cheers! oh, fu- tune in every other thursday for a newepisode of kiki's kitchen. if someone wants write me a theme song and recordit... make a little illustration... hook a girl up.